Life sure changes a lot when kids enter the picture. Suddenly you find yourself saying things that wouldn't even make sense in a normal conversation. You find yourself doing things that would have disgusted you before you were a mom. You find yourself loving more deeply than you ever thought possible.
It's fun to look back on the things you say and do when your kids are little, because what seems normal right now will probably be hilarious in hindsight.
things all moms of young kids can relate to:
1. Packing granola bars, apple slices, bags of cereal, animal crackers, an entire rotisserie chicken, and 3 water bottles in your purse every time you leave the house just in case someone gets hungry. Even if it's just a trip to the library.
2. Drawing out a game plan for how you'll get everyone safely in and out of their car seats in a parking lot.
3. Feeling victorious when your FitBit registers getting the kids in and out of their car seats as a workout.
4. Waving at strangers with a fake smile and dead eyes while your toddler throws a fit about not wanting to sit in the cart at Target.
5. Making up scientific explanations and using words like chlorophyll and homeostasis so your kids will stop asking questions about stuff.
6. Hearing your oldest child parent their younger siblings using the exact verbiage you used on them earlier that day. Sometimes you cringe. Sometimes you feel proud.
7. Wondering if 6:17 p.m. is too early to put your kids to bed.
8. Watching your toddler throw a fit and kind of wishing you could get away with doing the same thing when you're tired, hungry, or cranky.
9. Using the phrase, "Mommy's ears need a rest."
10. Almost telling your preschooler that her outfit doesn't match before realizing you don't actually give a crap.
11. Hiding in a closet to eat the secret snack you bought yourself so you don't have to share.
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12. Having a heart attack every time you're at the park because your toddler somehow ALWAYS finds the one spot at the top of the playground where there are no protective barriers and they could easily plummet to the ground with one false move. "Just go down the slide, baby! Just GO DOWN THE SLIDE."
13. Going on a toy cleaning spree, only to turn around and find that the kids have emptied out 5 more buckets.
14. Telling your child their music is "not working" on your phone. Darn!
15. Throwing out annoying toys and books after the kids go to sleep - stealth mode.
16. Starting the day as a model Love & Logic parent, and ending the day with a new identity picked out for when you start a new life on the other side of the country where it's quiet and no one will ask you questions or try to share your food.
17. Using the phrase, "I'm sorry I can't understand you when you whine. Try again with a nice voice."
18. Having the humbling experience of apologizing to a tiny human for losing your temper, and the even more humbling experience of a small child forgiving you, wrapping their arms around your neck, and whispering, "It's ok, Mommy. We all have bad days."
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19. Wondering why it's so satisfying to hold hands with a toddler. Their hands are just so pudgy and warm...
20. Feeling like your entire day is about poop and wiping butts.
21. Going on a nightly walk-through of your house with a Magic Eraser to find all of the crayon marks on the walls.
22. Absentmindedly singing the theme song of Doc McStuffins or Daniel Tiger while doing chores.
23. Wondering if everything your daughter wears comes in your size. Why are her clothes nicer than yours?
24. Creating an entire packing checklist and preparing for an hour just to get your kids in the double stroller so you can take a walk in peace.
25. Giving your entire body and soul to these tiny people, and despite all of the tantrums, inconveniences they present, and weird smells, missing them when they go to bed.